My kids went insane in June, guys. It was so bad, I can’t even openly admit how much wine I consumed to dull the pain by the end of the day. It was “The guy at the liquor store knows me by name and I wish I was kidding, but I’m not” bad.

First, it was The Not Listening. My husband would come home at the end of the day, and without fail, I’d say, “I’m tapping out. I can’t even with them today.”  Before long, he began calling before he came home, I’m assuming so he could spend the commute home, preparing for the chaos he was about to walk in on. And it was utter chaos. Picture me with frazzled unwashed hair, crazy eyes, while clutching a glass of wine that I may have poured the minute it became 5pm.

Nothing in our so-called parenting tool box was working for us. We tried everything; More outside time, more quiet time, grounding from certain privileges, bribing with ice cream, ignoring it, joining on it…Nothing was helping.When they weren’t behaving as though they’d never been socialized at all,  they were melting down over everything. Turn the television volume down? Tantrum. Apologize to your friend for throwing their ball at their face? Tantrum. Water not cold enough? Tantrum. Water not in specific cup? Definite tantrum. Have a bath because you were pretty much rolling in dirt today? Epic tantrum.

I won’t lie, I may have had a tantrum or two myself that included a slammed door and a trip to a parking lot just to sit in the car, and listen to loud music. Because, my god, it was awful. There is nothing like your kids behaving like mine were to make you feel like you are the world’s worst mother.

Then, I snapped. I don’t even remember what it was specifically, but I was finished. Done. It was not happening anymore. One night at dinner, we sternly told them that all of the shenanigans were over. We discussed listening, not pouring water all over your bedroom because fun, (do not even ask ) and respect in general. They nodded, and added in their own points, expressing some of their own frustration, and ideas.

Since I suspected that we may have a case of Technology Overdose, we gave the kids two options: They could have 30 minutes a day on whatever device they wished, or they could go without any Monday through Friday, and basically have a free for all on the weekend, given we weren’t doing anything, and that they didn’t kick up a fuss when we asked them to turn it off.*  Both of kids decided on the free for all weekend. For good measure, we warned them if they didn’t start respecting their room, we would separate them, and some of the toys would make it into the dreaded storage room.

They had a week to get it together.

Two days later, because maybe they didn’t quite believe us, we started to move them into separate rooms.

The room switching was a lot of work, but the no technology bit? That was hard. There was negotiations, and a lot of asking when the weekend was. There were tantrums over the lack of television, which only solidified my belief that we were doing the right thing. There was a disgruntled husband who didn’t love the idea that the television needed to stay off until the kids were in bed, and possibly a couple of heated words about having each others back in the thick of this mess.

But then!

Suddenly, my kids started playing outside more. They started playing together more. They started talking to each other, instead of at each other. We weren’t always yelling, or fighting about the volume on the television, or which mess belonged to who. We were riding bikes, and playing at parks, willingly. They were asking to read books and do work in their workbooks. There wasn’t any tantrums over a simple request to turn the television off, because it wasn’t even on, and at some point, they stopped asking about it. They began to eagerly clean their rooms before bed, and the messes in each respective room did not look like an atomic bomb had detonated.

It worked. It actually worked.

Let me confess: Technology, be it the television, iPod, or XBox, had become a crutch for me. I was the one offering it in the morning just so I could get a moment of peace with my coffee. I was the one using it as a reward.  Somewhere along the line, I allowed these pieces of entertainment to actually become entities in our lives. Before we instituted this experiment, I truly believed I couldn’t parent without these devices. It had gotten that bad, and I’m so happy to say that once I relinquished my hold on the idea that I needed them, it became easier.

Maybe technology wasn’t to blame for the entire crazy situation we happened upon, but I cannot ignore the fact that over a month into this “experiment”, something absolutely switched in my kids, and in this family.  I have my kids back, and confidence that parenting can be done without all the extra gadgets.

*I can’t take credit for this idea or set up. Jenna @ Stop, Drop and Blog wrote about her experience going tech free including the setup of it. 

After the long, brutal winter we had, I told the kids they had to pick one outdoor activity to participate in. Since we live in a relatively smaller town, the options were limited to soccer and baseball. Potato, being the kind that likes to stick with the familiar, chose soccer, even though the last go round with it wasn’t necessarily enjoyable for any of us. Of course, because she adores her brother, Girlie followed suit.

I signed the up with the impression that we’d be doing two games a week, one for each child. That’s what it was when we lived in Lethbridge. Lesson learned: not all recreation leagues work the same. When I got an email with the schedules, I may have twitched a little as I soon realized that we’d be doing soccer four times a week. Four. Times. A. Week. With my husband’s work schedule, I knew that I’d be on my own for most of the games, four times a week. At least we didn’t have to travel, I said. My prayers were answered when it came to practices: there weren’t any.

I was, I realized, being initiated into the world of Soccer Moms.

For two straight months, we lived, breathed, and worshiped at the feet of the soccer gods. It took us a week or two to find our bearings with the new routine, though we never did figure out how to make sure all the soccer gear was left in one place to save us from the last minute screeches of, “WHERE ARE MY SHINPADS, MOOOOOOM?”  I learned fast that snacks must be kept in my purse, an extra water bottle is necessary on the hotter days, blankets need to be in the car in case of a colder evening game, that I should always check the snack schedule in the morning(rather than maybe an hour before the game…oops) and bug spray was mandatory if one did not wish to get eaten alive.

If I’m being honest, mostly, it wasn’t that bad. We did have an incident near the end of the season that got me a little riled up, but mostly, the other parents were just like us- wanting the kids to get out and play for a bit. This schedule got us out of the house and in the sun for an hour four times a week, which meant easier bedtimes on those nights (usually).

Most of all, it was incredibly awesome to watch both kids come into their own, gaining confidence with each passing game. Girlie went from death gripping my neck at the beginning of the season to wandering out to her coaches and skillfully being able to drill the ball. Potato went from hanging back from the play, to getting right in there during the game, without much fear. One game, he took a ball straight to the face, and I feared that it might mean that the rest of the season would be a battle of anxiety for him. He proved me wrong, and was out playing again, within ten minutes. It did help, of course, that both the kids had amazing coaches.

It was a good season. 

Soccer wrapped up this past week; the kids have proudly displayed their medals in their respective rooms, and are already talking about the possibility of indoor soccer come the fall. I can’t even think about it right now. Mostly. I just want to bask in the beautiful nothingness of our evenings.

And of course, no dreaded snack schedule.