I am Not A Slut, Mom.

You know, Mom, you are a smart woman. I never understood how someone as intelligent as you are, could fall for some the bigger lies that society and your religion tells you to believe as truth. I’m a tolerant person, so I try not to judge. I mostly accepted that it was just who you were.  I didn’t have to like it but I accepted that it was where you were right now, and could possibly be where you are for life.

But then there’s this:

We know that you are purposely keeping my brother away from the girl from he possibly knocked up because you don’t like “who he becomes around her”.  That’s not smart, intelligent or any word that indicates that one would have an IQ. We call that cowardice, and I would even call it hypocritical.

We now know that you have convinced him, my brother, that he has HIV and will likely die a terrible, awful death.  Do you even know how HIV is contracted? Because if you are using it as a death threat (on your son, no less), you should probably get some facts straight. Nonetheless, these are not the words or actions of a highly intelligent woman.

He had unprotected sex four times, so maybe he has contracted an STD of some form, but really, you think that scaring him into believing he’s contracted HIV will stop him from having sex? Especially when I’m a phone call away, and know what STD’s are, and willingly help him with symptoms? I’m not going to stop informing him about things he should know about, especially when it comes to sex.

Furthermore, the reason he’s having unprotected sex? Because no one, (I’m looking at you) told him the importance of protecting himself.  If he does get some STD, you are partially to blame, though I already see your victim card flailing in the wind. He’s 17, but he has no real knowledge about his reproductive health, all because you made another very unintelligent move to pull him out of his sexual education classes.

You are smart, I know you are. Yet all of this, just makes it look like you have no idea what you are doing.

Then, this weekend, as things took another interesting turn with him, it seems that when you insult him, you feel completely obligated to turn to the old stereotypes of yesteryear. So I wanted to clear a couple of things up for you, because you seem to be a little lost:

No, Mom, I am not a slut. Neither is he. We are not trash because we chose to be sexually active at an appropriate time in our lives. He could have used a lot more education, but someone took that right away from him, and told him he doesn’t need to be educated when it comes to sex.

He has a right to know about his sexual health, even if you would rather he didn’t.

Again, we’re not sluts.

I am not a slut.

I have never been a slut. Being sexually active as a teen does not make you a slut. I was always smart about my sex life, despite your insistence that I bury my head in the sand. I used to cut class to go to the clinic for free birth control after you and Dad cut me off from using your health plan, thinking that I wouldn’t be able to get birth control, or afford it. A clear indication of what you thought of my own intelligence level- you underestimated how resourceful I truly was. In fact, it ended up being a blessing because I was able to be checked routinely, and had a safe place to discuss my worries about my sexual health.

Those things do not make you a slut.

When I got pregnant with The Kiddo, I was on birth control. One of the strongest doses you can get too, and yet, it still happened. Not to mention, I was in a monogamous relationship. I wasn’t cheating, or having multiple partners. I was with one person, whom I did love, and we were practicing safe sex.

Getting pregnant at 17 still didn’t make me a slut. Even though you told me I was one at every chance you could get.  You’d figure that once I had signed the adoption papers, and “served my time” that the insult would be dead, and would no longer escape your lips.

Yet, here we are, almost ten years since I came home and told you that I was pregnant, and you still have the audacity to call me a slut.

Is it the fact that I lived with The Hubby before we married, something that I feel was the best decision, given my rush and lack of judgment when I married The Ex? I mean, we can agree on that, right? That can’t be the reason you still feel fit to call me a slut.

Or maybe it’s the fact that I’m very liberal when it comes to telling my kids where they come from? I heard the disgust in your voice after Potato announced that he had come out of my vagina and so had his sister. I mean, really, I was sexually abused as a child- you have to know I’m teaching them the proper terms for a good reason.

I haven’t cheated on my husband. We practice safe sex, and we’re pretty vanilla when it comes to our sex life, yet…

I’m still a slut?

Okay, maybe it’s my support of my brother being sexually active? I mean, I don’t support it. He’s not the smartest kid out there, especially when it comes to this stuff. But the reality is, and history has proved, he’s going to have sex. I get religiously, it’s against everything you stand for, BUT, it can’t possibly be against your religion to inform him properly so he can make the right decisions. He needs to be informed, even if he makes crappy choices.

Maybe that makes me a slut?

I don’t know Mom. I’m really failing to see how I am a slut. Especially now, and I don’t think I ever was one. I am sorry that I ever took that insult at face value, for my own self-esteem issues. Years and separation have taught me that sometimes I think things come out of your mouth because you are losing control of a situation that you feel you should be in control of.

But it still doesn’t give you the right to call me a slut.

Let me make this clear:

I’m not trash. I never was a slut, nor will I ever be.

However, you are still a terrible mother. Perhaps you should work on getting some accuracy when it comes to insulting your own children. Or maybe, you could try being a supportive, loving mother who doesn’t insult her children when they do something opposite of what she’d like?

You really should know better.

But you don’t. And we know, like my brother, that history has proven itself already. You will continue to go on this roundabout dysfunctional journey where you are the victim and the rest of us, mainly two of your children, are the reason your life is awful, and you are miserable.

I really can’t take that much credit. Maybe one day you’ll give yourself the credit you actually deserve.

In the meantime, in case you didn’t really read this, and skipped to being offended, here’s the only message I wanted you to hear:

Nope, Mom. No matter how many times you say or repeat it, I am not a slut.